In the tradition of Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, and, yes, David Hockney, I am the proud papa of a totally self-entitled dachshund, even though I can't paint. The attentive canine in the picture is Warhol's Maurice. Mine is named Schuyler despite the best efforts of my family to get me to name her Schaatze—which sounded to me like something Eva Braun would name a dog. Schuyler is the cutest and sweetest dog in the history of the world. Really.
When you own a dachshund, it turns out, people like to give you things shaped like hot dogs. Hot dogs with tails. Hot dogs with devil horns and tails. Hot dogs with angel wings and tails. After the third Halloween doggie costume—a hot dog bun, get it?—I decided that friends of wiener-dog owners clearly needed a shopping guide. So I looked around the world and the web and found some nice modern, non-corny objets de doxie. I published that selection on pointclickhome.com, and it was a surprisingly popular post. You can still find it there. But time marches on, and doxies do need the occasional gift, so, I offer this updated, amended, and/or improved list of things to get your favorite dachshund owner.
Exhibit A: I give you the Milki. This illuminated dachshund is the work of a new design group in Korea called Wants and Needs (they seem to be working under the assumption that these are not the same thing). The most fun thing about these lamps is that you turn them on and off but tickling the dachshund under the chin, where a sensor activates the electrical circuit. At the moment these are only available directly from Korea for $150 plus $40 in shipping (air mail); just send an email to WNcart@gmail.com.
My friend Supon Phornirunlit is a Thai-born designer who lives in our nation's fair capital, where he runs several businesses. One of them, Naked Decor, has for some time offered a lovely Happy Hot Dog throw pillow with the noble nose half of said dog on the front and the tail-end on the back. You need a pair of them to display the whole dog, but at $45 each, that's not out of the question. Now he's offering the same split image as a two-part silkscreen designed to hang on the wall; the two 12" x 12" panels, in a limited edition of 250, are $150; nakeddecor.com.
That half-a-hot-dog look is getting popular. Super potter Jonathan Adler has had a dachshund in his menagerie for quite some time, but he's added bookends. What better way to organize your dachshund-related literature? The set is 14" long, made of high-fired stoneware on a solid hardwood base, $150; jonathanadler.com. My birthday is in July, but no need to wait for a special occasion!
Haseform, the German company, has a small ark-load of hanging coat hooks. The line is called Tiergarderoben (a play on the German words for zoo and wardrobe), and it includes elephants, octopuses, and reindeer, among others—and this dachshund, of course. If you've ever met a nursing doxie, you may think this item is funnier than if you haven't. They're available in white, black, or red for only $28; haseform.de.
Carry your doxie pride with you even in places were hounds are verboten with these travel mugs emlazoned with a variety of abstract little doggies. They're 7" tall and hold 15 ounces of hot or cold beverage; $22 from cafepress.com.
Artist Kevin McCormick offers these droll, propaganda-inspired posters through his web site, Obey the Purebreed. Other dog breeds are available, as are posters touting the delights of c-a-t-s. The silkscreened posters measure 23" by 35" and cost $28; obeythepurebreed.com.
The d-toro mini-dachshund really is mini. It measures 7" long. You assemble it yourself, of course, from natural cardboard pieces. It's made in Japan, and yours for only $24.50; compactimpat.com/shop1.
You have to see this site to believe it, but there is an artist named Nathan Sawaya, a sculptor, who works exclusively in the medium of LEGO blocks. His doxie is 8" long. Sawaya will even accept commissions to create your precious pet in LEGO; visit this set even if you aren't in the market for a dachshund (this guy is off the hook); brickartist.com.
And in case you want to send me a note, I would suggest these handsome cards, hand screened by Orange Twist of Seattle. They're $3.95 each or $16 for a set of 6, two each of 3 colors, as seen plus sky blue; esty.com.
That's about it for now. I'll post more fabulous doxie doo-dads when I find them. And, in closing, I leave you with a photo of the most wonderful dachshund who ever lived. Yes, it's my lovely rescued-from-certain-death-in-South-Carolina Schuyler (it's pronounced SKY-ler but spelled in the Dutch fashion, as well it should be for a resident of the town once known as New Amsterdam, more recently as New York). And she's all mine. Or I am hers. The jury's out.—ML